Sorry for the lack of updates! If any of you are actually reading this I greatly appreciate you for you sticking through.
Today, I want to talk about all my anxiety, fears, and possibly regrets. In less than three week, I shall be finished with my undergraduate college years. I will receive a B.A. in Communication Studies and Fashion Merchandising. It has been a wonderful four years, and I did like most of my classes. Well, it was more like three-and-a-half years. You see, I am finishing one semester early. To be honest, I did not plan on graduating a semester early, but when my advisor said that I could, well I said why not? For one thing, that is a whole semester worth of tuition that I do not hope to pay. So, here is to saving money!
Now, the number one question I have been asked all semester when I told people of me leaving has been “What are you planning to do?” Cue the awkward cricket sound! I have no clue. What is up with all this pressure to know what you are doing in the future?
Think about it. Society wants us to know what we want when we are seventeen. Do you remember what you were doing when you were 17? If you were an awkward teenager like me, then I think you were most worried about if someone was going to ask you to prom (no one did) or trying to get your driver’s license so your mom would not have to drive you to the mall (she still did anyway). I did not know what I wanted to do during the weekend, let alone what I wanted to do in 4 years.
For example, choosing a college is one you have to make right away. I liked Albright College (well most of it), but I would not have gone to it if I understood the meaning of debt and research. That is one expensive school, and one can argue that it is my fault for not looking into it. But again, I WAS 17! Who thinks like that when you are 17? I doubt even Barack Obama was thinking about money when he was 17. That is what I am saying, the pressure to know what you want is too much.
I like to write, but I got looks from my parents, my teachers, and my high school guidance counselor saying that there is no future in it. Nonetheless, I stuck with my choice and I learned journalism writing. I met new people, and found my own style that works for me. From that perspective, I think I made a good choice. Now, I have to make another choice.
I am 21 now. I still do not know what I want out of my life. A job? A career? A way to pay off my colossal debt?
My parents, my professors, even my friends keep asking me, and in all honestly, I just want to cry. It’s not like I am NOT looking for a job. I already applied to part-time places around my area, and have been looking for writing jobs since last January.
On top of that, I have been asked about going to graduate school. That is more money, more time, more decisions I don’t think I am ready to make.
What’s wrong with taking a break? I have finals next week, a class that I am about to beg my teacher to help me get a C, and all this pressure. STOP!
In short, to all those who are reading and are feeling the same as I am, then fret not. It is okay to take a break and make rational choices for your life. Do not feel pressured to make one right now. I’ll be that person that will tell you to take a break, breathe, maybe play some video games. It is okay not to know what you want in the future right now. You have a whole array of choices; just take some time to find something that you will be happy with.
That is all! Until next time!
Peace, Love, and Pokémon!
Musings 