School Debt Will Kill Me

Hey guys! I might as well stop making promises of trying to update. I always forget to update my blog. It really is because I have nothing interesting to report. I mean, I can write about trending topics or current events, but I guess honestly, I just been in a lazy mood and I didn’t want to write.

So, the end of the school year is drawing near. I am literally two finals and a dissertation away from receiving my Masters. Honestly, I am glad that I did my Masters this year. They say that grad school is just a way to avoid the inevitable, and they are totally right. However, I think that this school semester I have grown in more ways than one. I am still that geeky video-game and anime chick, but I feel more independent, and I feel like I can do anything I set my mind to. What’s stopping me?

Money. Dinero. Cash

I just did my exit loan counseling, which is suppose to help you calculated your debt. Technically, you should be making more than half of what you own. So, according the the USA Government, in 6 months, I should be making over $95,000 USD. Well, I am just going to sell my kidneys or steal the Deceleration of Independence and sell them on the black market. Ridiculous! Do they hear these calculations? What graduate makes that kind of money? I’m a MEDIA student, I’ll be lucky if I ever make that much. And before you preach to me about how I should have chosen a better major, shut up. What is wrong with studying things that you love? Whats wrong with wanting to have an education in something you want to do? In 10 years, hopefully I have a job that I do not dread waking up for. I want a job that I can be passionate about.

So, now I am all stressed out about this loan repayment. I don’t regret studying abroad.  I got to do so much, and visit places that I have only dreamed about.  I just wished that student loans were not so high, and that our government thought about the price of higher education.  This makes me see why that girl started doing porn. Times are hard, and you gotta do what you gotta do to not have $57,000 worth of debt.

Anywho, I’ll accept donations (:P). If you ever want to donate to the “Xuxa had no job, but would like to pay off her debt”  fund, let me know. xD

I hope to whoever is reading this, that their woes are less than mine.

Peace, Love, and Pokemon.

Guess Who is Back?

I fail at keeping blogs. I really do. That is such shameful trait for an aspiring write like myself. Honestly, the reason I am “blogging” is because I am so bored. I really need to find a job (which is a lot easier said than done). So, in the end, I decided to combine “Confessions of a Bakery Clerk” and “Honestly Speaking” into my main “Musings” blog. It makes sense. I really do not know what to write about, so it works out. Plus, I like my niftysushi name. It is a play on words with my name, but you can read all about that in the About Me section once I get that up and running again. It takes a while for WordPress to import anything. I don’t think that my writing is that good, I try to be witty and clever, but I end up repetitive and bland. In short, I am back. Thank you to anyone who was following any of my blogs, or for the comments that you have posted. It makes me feel so much better. Please keep on commenting, and if you have something you want me to blog about (highly unlikely) comment below and I might answer you.

So, sorry for the lack of update. In case you missed it, I have fully graduated my undergrad with a BA in Communications and Fashion Merchandising. Currently, I am in grad school. But not just any old grad school. No, I decided to go big and travel to Scotland for my Masters. Honestly, a one-year program sounds better than a two-year one . My current predicament is that I am once again, jobless. I can’t even find a part-time job for my schedule. It is really a sad thing. I am living off my savings and whatever my parents decide to give me. I am totally grateful for their support, because I usually pay for my food with that money, but I would like a little extra on the side for trips, and clothes, and to send home some souvenirs.

Woe is me. I have a BA and I can’t even get a job as a waitress. But fear not readers. I am going to try and at least find something to hold me over. Not only do I have to worry about classes, and my dissertation, I have to worry about my future plans as well. I need a big-girl job and I need to know if it is worth going back home only to come back to Scotland two months later for graduation? You know, if I pass and all.

Oh dear. I am just stressing myself out now.

Well, until next time dear readers. Comment below if you want to chat. 🙂

School Doubts

So earlier I mentioned that I am a grad student abroad. Working on my dissertation. About to dazzle the word with scholarly knowledge. Yeah right. My undergrad was in Communication (Journalism) and Fashion Merchandising.I was planning to work in the fashion industry as a writer, but after I graduated a semester early, and could not even find a job in the  field. Let me tell you, I am not remarkable. Not at all. I am not confident in my writing nor in my skills. I feel like I just flew by during undergrad. My GPA was like a 3.4 Not impressive at all. I just feel so stupid. People get the impression that I study and am studious, but really I am a slacker. I know I can do better. I know I can.

I am in grad school, and I am working hard. But, I know I can push myself even further. I always feel dumb compared to other people. I feel like a slacker. My friend here, she is so studious. I wish I had her drive. I don’t even study as hard. If I study I would probably be the perfect student. All my life of my parents and teachers telling me I can do it, I feel like I am failing them in a way. Don’t get me wrong, they were super supportive, I wish everyone could feel the love like I did. It is just that I want to make them proud. I want to fill their expectations. But, not for them, for me. For me. I want to be that good girl with brains. I want to be studious. This is not pressure or anything, this is me trying to find my way

My dissertation is going to be grand (not really). I really want to do it in the video game field. Video games and fan cultures. Why, you ask? Because it is something personal, something that I like, something I would not mind researching. if I have to spend the next 8 months working on something, I would rather it being on something I want to research in.

However, I cannot think of how specific I want to go. That is problem with any paper that I have written so far. Everything is good, but too vague. I am in the filed, I just need to concentrate on a spot. I really wish that I was assigned an adviser already so I can bounce off ideas. You know what bugs me about education, especially in the States? All my life, even in my undergrad, I was told what to write and how to write it. I was given assessments and specific questions. This is the first time where they told me I can do whatever I want. I could write about anime and manga if I wanted to (It was on the list but chose video games instead).

Basically this post is a pile of mess. It is all over the place. I really just needed to write something before I forget to write. Tomorrow I am trying to go to the library. I’ll probably just goof off, maybe write another post? If I do write another one tomorrow, it’ll be more interesting than this one. Wish me luck guys. I honestly need all the help and luck I can get.